DUET – DUKE and DUCHESS.
DUKE. To help unhappy taxpayers and add to their enjoyment,
Gives me the opportunity for prosperous employment;
DUCH. To all my skills with music scores, much time have I devoted;
I love to lead a chorus tune, I’m sure you’ve duly noted.
DUKE. Deductions and rebates
And minimum probates
I get – and my clients are delighted –
DUCH. They’re highly delighted!
DUKE. I find in our tax code
Loopholes by the armload,
I’m sure they will soon get me knighted –
DUCH. He soon will be knighted.
DUKE. Mathematical playing
I find very paying:
It adds a large sum to my makings –
DUCH. Large sum to his makings.
DUKE. My professional skill set
Ensures that I will get
At least ten per cent on the takings.
DUCH. One-tenth of the takings.
DUCH. I’m known as a person
Who waves a white baton
That calls all musicians to follow –
DUKE. Musicians to follow.
DUCH. And whether they’re voicing
Their pain or rejoicing,
I don’t let their talents lie fallow –
DUKE. They never lie fallow!
DUCH. My talents, I got them
At Hopewell I taught them
My kids could all play a toccata –
DUKE. All play a toccata.
DUCH. For my erudition
The school’s new addition
Should carry the name Woyiwada –
DUKE. It certainly oughta!
DUKE. I gather great plaudits
When from nasty audits
I save all my clients the trouble –
DUCH. He saves them the trouble.
DUKE. They’re pleased with the outcome
On their final income
And thank me by paying me double –
DUCH. They do pay him double!
DUKE. I go through my paces
In Iron Man races
Along the whole course I go prancing –
DUCH. You should see him prancing!
DUKE. On land and water
I do what I oughter
To hold back my old age advancing –
DUCH. His age is advancing!
DUCH. At Savoy, no fiction,
I always stressed diction
As singer or maestra, no matter –
DUKE. Oh no, ᾽twas no matter.
DUCH. Quartet or trio,
I led them with brio –
But needed a man to do patter –
DUKE. A man to do patter!
DUCH. My baton was swinging
With all the cast singing –
I knew I was reaching my mission –
DUKE. So close to her mission!
DUCH. To light up all stages
With shows for the ages,
And so make a lasting impression –
DUKE. An awesome impression!
DUKE. We’re ready, together,
To face heavy weather
Through hell and high water we’re sailing –
DUCH. Sometimes it’s rough sailing.
DUCH. Through lightning and thunder
We stand here in wonder
At those who our boat are a-bailing –
DUKE. Yes, everyone’s bailing!
BOTH. In short, we’re a twosome
But not really lonesome,
Because we are gently surrounded,
Yes, gently surrounded –
By friends and by family,
Who hold our hands firmly
DUCH. And keep us in their arms a-bounded –
BOTH. By love we’re surrounded!