Lyrics to the Duke and Duchess

DUET – DUKE and DUCHESS.

Recitative

DUKE.            To help unhappy taxpayers and add to their enjoyment,

Gives me the opportunity for prosperous employment;

DUCH.           To all my skills with music scores, much time have I devoted;

I love to lead a chorus tune, I’m sure you’ve duly noted.

VERSE I

DUKE.            Deductions and rebates

                        And minimum probates

                        I get – and my clients are delighted –

DUCH.           They’re highly delighted!

DUKE.            I find in our tax code

            Loopholes by the armload,

                        I’m sure they will soon get me knighted –

DUCH.           He soon will be knighted.

DUKE.            Mathematical playing

            I find very paying:

                        It adds a large sum to my makings –

DUCH.           Large sum to his makings.

DUKE.            My professional skill set

            Ensures that I will get

                        At least ten per cent on the takings.

DUCH.           One-tenth of the takings.

DUCH.           I’m known as a person

                        Who waves a white baton

                        That calls all musicians to follow –

DUKE.            Musicians to follow.

DUCH.           And whether they’re voicing

                        Their pain or rejoicing,

                        I don’t let their talents lie fallow –

DUKE.            They never lie fallow!

DUCH.           My talents, I got them

            At Hopewell I taught them

                        My kids could all play a toccata –

DUKE.            All play a toccata.

DUCH.           For my erudition

The school’s new addition

            Should carry the name Woyiwada –

DUKE.            It certainly oughta!

VERSE II

DUKE.            I gather great plaudits

            When from nasty audits

                        I save all my clients the trouble –

DUCH.           He saves them the trouble.

DUKE.            They’re pleased with the outcome

            On their final income

                        And thank me by paying me double –

DUCH.           They do pay him double!

DUKE.            I go through my paces

            In Iron Man races

                        Along the whole course I go prancing –

DUCH.           You should see him prancing!

DUKE.            On land and water

            I do what I oughter

                        To hold back my old age advancing –

DUCH.           His age is advancing!

DUCH.           At Savoy, no fiction,

            I always stressed diction

                        As singer or maestra, no matter –

DUKE.            Oh no, ᾽twas no matter.

DUCH.           Quartet or trio,

            I led them with brio –

                        But needed a man to do patter –

DUKE.            A man to do patter!

DUCH.           My baton was swinging

            With all the cast singing –

                        I knew I was reaching my mission –

DUKE.            So close to her mission!

DUCH.           To light up all stages

            With shows for the ages,

                        And so make a lasting impression –

DUKE.            An awesome impression!

VERSE III

DUKE.            We’re ready, together,

            To face heavy weather

                        Through hell and high water we’re sailing –

DUCH.           Sometimes it’s rough sailing.

DUCH.           Through lightning and thunder

We stand here in wonder

                        At those who our boat are a-bailing –

DUKE.            Yes, everyone’s bailing!

BOTH.                        In short, we’re a twosome

                        But not really lonesome,

                        Because we are gently surrounded,

                        Yes, gently surrounded –

                        By friends and by family,

                        Who hold our hands firmly

DUCH.           And keep us in their arms a-bounded –

BOTH.                        By love we’re surrounded!